Month: January 2016

I Wear a Man Purse. It’s for my Tablet.

I’ve tried to ignore it, but I can’t anymore . . . I’ve been wearing a man purse!

I own a bag with a bunch of smiley faces on it and on the front of the bag it says SmileTrain. Inside the SmileTrain bag is my tablet, a pair of headphones, and maybe some DVDs from the library I checked out, but not much else, really.

Then I started using the bag as a purse.

Everybody knows the joke from the movie The Hangover with Zach Galifianakis.

Oh, I’d say to myself. Did I just buy a chocolate bar I need to save for later?

And I would think how convenient it was to have my SmileTrain bag in that moment.

Then there was the time I spilled coffee on my T-shirt in public and went to the bathroom to take that shirt off and button up my button up . . . that was convenient too.

Tonight there’s snow outside and I sit in this coffeehouse listening to renditions of the most popular Lorde song sung by two young bearded guys with glasses and winter caps, a duo called Stone Heart, with a thumpy drum, an electric guitar, and a microphone and of course my feet are wet because I didn’t wear my galoshes and instead I’m in my Walmart brand sneakers so I take my socks off and it’s in this moment I realize when I place my folded up elastic socks inside my SmileTrain bag . . . I wear a man purse!

Should I get rid of it?

Why on earth would I do that? My positivity coach gave it to me! Do you understand? My positivity coach gave me a bag which says SmileTrain on it!

But what I really want to know is are teenagers going to make fun of me when they see me walking down the street?

These are the consequences I must face.

Have you ever asked a girl if she would carry something for you? Every male has done this to a woman because if it wasn’t your girlfriend it was with your mother, grandmother, sister or aunt.

By the way, in any zombie apocalypse the person who owns a purse carries the ammo and that’s a very important position.

A bag is very useful, you see.

But If anyone ever asks I’ll just say, It’s for my Tablet.

If you need a bag that fits your tablet check out my design.

Leave comments about your man or woman purse below!

Dumb People Don’t Write Books!

Over the years I’ve met many people who’ve never wrote a poem, a journal entry or a single word in their entire life.

I’ve even partnered up with people who had “ideas” completely different than mine.

Alien Nation

Most recently I had this ginormous realization that I’m an alien and not of this planet. It took me a long time to realize this, but I finally did. I really wanted to fit in here, really bad, but there’s just no way in heck that’s ever going to happen now.

Say What?

Fifteen years ago I graduated from Grad School.

Since then I’ve done one thousand and one things not even closely related to my field.

Only one friend ever asked me, over all these years, “How come you stopped writing for so long?”

Only one friend asked me that? What? Stop the press! (Plus, I’ve only known him a short while to top it all off!)

What Now?

Now I can spend time making friends with people who write books or blogs or poems on napkins and I might start actually enjoying my life again like I did in the past.

Some writer types can be a little grumpy because they’re not used to being around people, but most of them I meet are way nice and rather normal.

Lessons Learned

I have to say the most important thing I learned from all this riffraff is that people who write books aren’t dumb.

I guess that’s a nice way to put things, but it’s true.

Writers are just smart muther flokkas!

The Writers Life for Me!

I’m writing this.

And in the next hour I will write something else.

And tomorrow something else.

There’s always a chance this planet could distract me with something not as important as writing, but I plan to be around other writers as much as possible now, so I don’t think this will happen (Fingers crossed!).

What do you think about the writers life?

What excuses do you need to let go of to get on with your writing?

Write about it in the comments box below if you want to.