I drove straight home to get on my computer and call on Skype all the 24 hour bank and credit card places to tell them to cancel my cards.
I hated myself, my life, and I just wanted to blame others.
You see this week was my “birthday week,” so how could anything possibly bad happen the week of your birthday, right?!
In the past I used to get mad at those robot recordings barking orders at me and not hearing what I was saying and then I’d turn around and get mad at those snarky operators who are just doing their job on the night shift as a customer service representative.
I can tell you I didn’t react like that tonight. I’m just so damn mature in my old age.
The part I hate most about losing something like a wallet is spending time looking for it. Like just how much time are you supposed to spend going through your car with a flashlight into every crevice in hopes you’ll find it?
I’m usually quick to accept my fate when I lose a wallet and quickly go over in my mind how I will spend tomorrow getting a new drivers license at the DMV, a new health insurance card, and even a new social security card because I had that in my wallet as well.
Then there are the cra-cra things that go through my mind.
Will someone use my credit card before I report it lost? This has never happened to me, but it comes up as one of those scary possibilities.
Will some master criminal find my wallet lying on the streets of Denver and steal my identity? My imagination is just so vivid.
Will someone look me up online and contact me saying they found my wallet? That’s what happened to me the last time I lost a wallet.
I was jogging and I ran away from some crazy lady on the sidewalk next to me. It was snowing and my wallet fell out of my coat pocket.
Then guess who contacted me about my lost wallet? The same lady!
I went to her house and the weird part was my judgement about her was eerily on the mark. She lived in a “home” with other people who had mental problems.
I gave her 20 dollars for her troubles and never talked to her again, but the whole experience renewed my faith in humanity.
For me to wait for someone to call me about my wallet tonight is not an option. That would be a really dumb thing to do.
I take care of business and take care of myself because I don’t see anyone else offering to call the bank and credit card places to cancel.
One of my old therapists I had tried to explain to me once that there are “up and downs,” constantly, every day, every week and you have to rate them on how important they are. Is this a 4? Or a 10? 10 meaning I should lose my cool completely and 4 not so much!
I really don’t know how to laugh things off. I am capable of feeling grateful when things aren’t as bad as they seem, but laughing things off? Saying “That’s just life! Haha!” That’s just not how I do things personally. I really wish I could, but usually I’m all in a huff until I figure out the next best step to take.
Tonight the solution was driving home and getting on the horn to cancel my cards. I have a night job delivering and I just turned my car around and went home without finishing. It was depressing because this is the second time this week I have not finished my deliveries.
Earlier in the week I ran over something and my car made a loud noise. I drove it home, noise and all, and brought it to an auto shop conveniently across the street from my home (Gratitude!).
The mechanic the next day said everything was okay but he also said, “Your car is so weighted down you could damage your shocks and struts,” meaning the magazines I’d not delivered yet are weighing my car down so much that it’s this close to looking like a “Vine” or a “Russian Fail Compilation” on YouTube.
So yeah, I am very upset tonight that I haven’t finished my job due to these complications.
I am grateful I’m not one of these negative “for real” types who reference Murphy’s Law when something goes wrong. It seems defeatist to bring that up in my opinion.
Instead I told myself that I’ve learned two things; get a wallet chain or a jacket with a zipper pocket and don’t drive when your car is so weighted down that if you run over something it will screw up the bottom of it.
That’s about all I can say about this birthday week from hell.
This experience does make me feel “alive” though, which is hard to admit because I know I said to myself earlier tonight, “I wish I was dead” and I think the reason I say things like that is not because I want to kill myself, I just want my problems to go away! Maybe I should just say that next time instead of referencing death?
I’m only human and now I can just look up that 80s song with the same title and listen to that. There’s the link above so you can listen, too.
Now that you’ve read my blog post would you like to buy my e-book for 99 cents? Click here to read my short story collection on Amazon!
Listen to DJ Mixes.
Buy a “new” Wallet!